A congradulatory message to Senator Brown from the Junior High School Snap Team at MSNBC News

You can't join our club, you're a teabagger hick
Your name should be Richard, you're such a dick
Your family so played, they need everything for free
They eat at the dumpster, and live in a tree
Get their clothes from a bin, at the Salvation Army
Always saying "Spare Change?" to everyone that they see
Cardboard boxes their furniture, A candle their lamp
When they mail a letter , they have to use a food stamp
They use public restrooms to take a pee
Look through Best Buy's window, when they watch tv
Your sister gets foreign aid, from the Haitian community
She tried working the Stroll, down in the Bowery
Couldn't get any takers, she's much too furry
Your pops goes car shopping, with a crowbar for a key
His ears all stuffed up, with seaweed and water
From the Rio Grande, when he snuck across the border
We saw a pciture of your moms, she looks like a hound
Cuts her toenails with a hacksaw, wears her weave in a mound
Her face is so busted, she went on Monster Quest
They just gave her the trophy, and sent home all the rest
Your grandma so fat, that when she takes a shower
She has to go through the car wash and it takes a whole hour
Irons her shirts in the driveway, combs her eyebrow with a rake
When she runs on all fours, it starts an earthquake
Down at the dump, she fights off the raccoon
Then eats with a shovel instead of a spoon
Scoffs up everything in sight, she's so totally crude
That when she goes camping, the bears hide their food
She jumped in the ocean, at Coney Island New York
Made sea level rise, up to the boardwalk
The people ran for their life, to get off the beach
She caused a Tsunami, each time that she breached
That's why you cant join our clique, the elite upper class
So we hope that you fail, and fall flat on your ass
Still best wishes to you and the whole family
From all we press agents, at good old MSNBC

An Ode to The Media

We call it the NEWS, who what where when and how
True once it was that, but what is it now?
It was just the facts, or at least they did try
Reduced not to theater, with embellishment and lie
No dog in the fight, back in the days
Now they sell product, just like Billy Mays
A hypothetical scenario, and how it is spun
Not hard to predict, if you know each one
An Iraqi bus, to a check point approaches
Passengers unknown, as it slowly encroaches
It stops not at Redline, but keeps rolling on
Taking no chances, it's fired upon
Impossible to know, why this took place
Yet here comes the Media, in their "Breaking News" race
First there is Hannity, he'll tell it right
"It was hardcore Al Queda, coming to fight"
A cadre of killers, with a gun in each hand
Our brave lads took them out, for God and homeland
Next is Christain, she'll tell it true
It was Iraqi workers, with a driver too new
Uncelar rules of engagement, troops not trained too long
Middle ground is out staple, so both sides must be wrong
THen there is Oberman, he'll tell it real
Twas Girl Scouts on Church picnic, Mother Theresa at the wheel
The troops held their fire, it was Bush there's no doubt
He said "just kill them all, let God sought them out"
And Last Al Jezeera, the truth they will tell
It was brave holy warriors, come to rout the Infidel
Each fought like ten tigers, they won victory and fame
With the blessing from Allah, all praise to his name
And such is the NEWS, in all of it's glory
Quote whomever you choose, they're all talking story
A new here it comes,that timely "Hard Break"
The unstoppable force, it's like an earthquake
They'll cut one off in midsentence, It's "Hard Break" don't you see?
It's ordained by God, it's not up to me
So what is its purpose? This force like Niagra
It's for selling John Basedow, Sham Wow, and Viagra
Noticed have you, when a big thing takes place?
"Hard Breaks" disappear, without any trace
Not hard to stop afterall, still why do they dare?
It's fear you'll change the channel, they'll lose too much share
Now its back to the NEWS, time for comic relief
Give us Bigfoot & Britney, or the most stupid theif
How come NEWS to this, such a pitiful state?
Not by conspiracy, no reason so great
A wise man once said, I'll tell you for sooth
The first casualty in war, is always the truth

The Raving Mute

Originally posted on adayinthelifeofalif.blogspot.com on August 28th, 2008