You can't join our club, you're a teabagger hick
Your name should be Richard, you're such a dick
Your family so played, they need everything for free
They eat at the dumpster, and live in a tree
Get their clothes from a bin, at the Salvation Army
Always saying "Spare Change?" to everyone that they see
Cardboard boxes their furniture, A candle their lamp
When they mail a letter , they have to use a food stamp
They use public restrooms to take a pee
Look through Best Buy's window, when they watch tv
Your sister gets foreign aid, from the Haitian community
She tried working the Stroll, down in the Bowery
Couldn't get any takers, she's much too furry
Your pops goes car shopping, with a crowbar for a key
His ears all stuffed up, with seaweed and water
From the Rio Grande, when he snuck across the border
We saw a pciture of your moms, she looks like a hound
Cuts her toenails with a hacksaw, wears her weave in a mound
Her face is so busted, she went on Monster Quest
They just gave her the trophy, and sent home all the rest
Your grandma so fat, that when she takes a shower
She has to go through the car wash and it takes a whole hour
Irons her shirts in the driveway, combs her eyebrow with a rake
When she runs on all fours, it starts an earthquake
Down at the dump, she fights off the raccoon
Then eats with a shovel instead of a spoon
Scoffs up everything in sight, she's so totally crude
That when she goes camping, the bears hide their food
She jumped in the ocean, at Coney Island New York
Made sea level rise, up to the boardwalk
The people ran for their life, to get off the beach
She caused a Tsunami, each time that she breached
That's why you cant join our clique, the elite upper class
So we hope that you fail, and fall flat on your ass
Still best wishes to you and the whole family
From all we press agents, at good old MSNBC
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